Method to my Momness

Not doing a great job keeping up the blog. ūüė¶ The class I’m teaching is taking up my solo nighttime hours.

Gus is going through a great phase right now. He is making a visible transformation from toddler to kid…leaving behind so much of the baby as well. I have pangs of¬†longing for the baby he was, but mostly I am glad we are seeing such a balanced, sweet child appear. He is fiery and fearless, but kind and considerate. Great mixture.

I notice that the more responsibility we give him, the more calm and focused he becomes. He thrives on being trusted and expected to do things for himself and help out. A 21/2 year-old who cleans up his dishes, feeds the pets, and puts away groceries will be a five-year old who enjoys some responsibility and expects to make his own contribution, I figure.

This is not to say that he doesn’t do things that make me crazy, or that he’s a perfectly behaved child. We wouldn’t want that.

What we want is for him to express himself, understand himself, and  like himself, while developing a sense of his connection to others, to the earth and to the universe. Quite a lofty list of goals, I think. Whew.

Well,¬†we’re working on it. We help him identify his emotions,¬†name them and let him know it is¬†okay to express them. We also try to teach him that he must¬†consider how acting on his feelings affects others – like not hitting when he’s angry, for example.¬† So he says “I can be angry” but is learning not to throw tantrums.

What else? We try to tell him honestly how we feel – angry, happy, sad – as much as we can. He likes to explore these different sides of mommy and daddy. He goes, “Mommy, do you want to be sad/happy/a nice mommy?” etc. “Nice mommy” if he knows I am not too happy with his behavior. ūüôā

We focus a lot on joy and celebration in our home. We are not always joyful, but boy do we strive for it. I believe we can make every day joyful if we focus on doing so, and not on the reasons why not. Anyone who has children and does not rejoice in them every day…that is beyond my ken. It is like having your own little joy machine, a joybot.¬†

This week is planting and gardening week for us…pretty darn excited.

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